Scientifically speaking , April Fools ’ daylight is the worst Clarence Shepard Day Jr. of the twelvemonth . And as consumers we have only two options to survive the horror that is brands flogging the dead horse know as April Fools ’ Day .
The first is to humor them by courteously laugh softly at their walloping of the stallion ’s corpse . The 2d is to saddle up and ride that poor , rotting crib — make it ’s animated until these brands cater us with the products and service they ’re offer . It ’s hard to tell apart which is the good option .
But honestly , some of the products that brands advertise on April Fools ’ mean solar day speech sound jolly nice . Like Virgin Australia’sKids Class cabin ? No more hollo children kicking the back of your seat ? Sign me the fuck up .
But Virgin Australia does n’t have plan to present a Kids Class cabin in 2016 , as their telecasting promises . It’sa lie .
To be more accurate , it ’s an April Fools ’ Day “ jape ” in the world of Brands ™ Twitter . Would n’t it be with child if they did have this option though ? Email them and demand it . Call them . save alphabetic character . twirp them . You deserve it .
Fun fact : If you google the names of CEO , you’re able to often get hold their electronic mail addresses . For illustration , here ’s the CEO of Virgin Australia’semail:[email protect ] . I ’m sure he ’d bed to hear from you about the Kids Class cabin . Virgin Australia is a great air hose , but if Mr. Borghetti is go to promise us a Kids Class cabin , we better get our Kids Class cabin .
Below is a semi - exhaustive list of April Fools ’ Day “ jokes ” that need your aid . get hold of the companies and call for that these product and services be release . recollect to be as academic and dim as possible . Be polite , but demand that you get your hover shopping cars , lagger ATMs , and 3D - printed doughnuts . You saw it on the internet and the net would n’t lie to you .
Google Express Parachutes
Who would n’t want a cute deliverance service like Google Express to deliver thing by parachute ? Oh , it ’s a lie ? Well , I guess we ’ll have to postulate it anyway .
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqlU30jBDH8
T-Mobile’s Binge-On Up
T - Mobile has a novel product that bear a smartphone in front of your boldness through a combination head - mount / selfie control stick . Is this really that much more ridiculous than half of the technical school Cartesian product we encounter in 2016 ? No . Tell T - Mobile you require one of these fucking thing . Now .
McDonald’s Juices
A McDonald ’s Big Mac Blend succus actually sound like something that will existone day . So contact McDonald ’s and ask it . in person I ’d opt for the Gallic fries but that ’s just me .
Hulu Datr
seemingly Hulu wants to hijack Netflix and Chill or OKCupid or whatever with a service calledHulu Datr . Well , that sounds perfectly hunky-dory to us . touch them now and say that you ’d care to sign up . Do n’t stop contact them until they give it to you .
Sony Proton Pack
Hey look , Sony ’s release aProton Pack ! Just like the one in Ghostbusters ! Sony would n’t lie to you , would they ? Give them a call and let them know that your grandmother of late die . separate them all the harrowing details of her death and tell them that this Proton Pack is the only matter that will allow her to finally find peace . They might separate you that it ’s just an April Fools ’ Day antic , but do n’t believe them . Your nan did n’t raise a quitter .
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NKfYXs6BZLM
Moshi SpatiaFlight
Moshi has a speaker that watch you aroundlike a drone . Or they would if they were n’t dally with our eye . get them get it on that you want it . And commend , be as obtuse as potential and do n’t give up until they give you this production .
Self-Driving Bike From Google
Hey see , it ’s aself - driving bike ! Who would n’t require one of those ! Email Google and take it . Now .
Burger King Chicken Fries Shake
Oooh , the compounding of spicy and sweet that aChicken Fries Shakecould provide would n’t be the most outlandish thing Burger King has ever tender . It ’s a lie , but contact them now . There ’s no good reason why you should n’t have one .
White Castle Drone Delivery
trailer delivery of White Castle ? That soundsawesome ! Oh , it does n’t be . Well , that ’s “ fun . ”
Carnival Cruise Submarine
Carnival Cruise Line Australia is promise a submarine by 2017 . Looks slap-up , doesn’t it ? Well it ’s a prevarication . Tell Carnival Cruise that you require to ride in one . Do n’t kibosh until they ’ve literally give you a ride in a submarine sandwich .
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vRlBtabKRFM
Quilted Northern Artisanal Toilet Paper
Man , this “ artisanal ” can paper does look a bit rough on the backside . But I ’m sure there ’s someone out there who would enjoy it . If that person is you , call for that Quilted Northern make this product .
Wonder Workshop’s WonderPaw
Have you ever wanted your frump to get word how to encipher ? Wonder Workshop has developed an app that teaches them to do just that . Except that they have n’t . Because they ’re just lie . Lies . All lies . Tell them you want this intersection now .
McDonald’s on the Moon
McDonald ’s in the UK has promised us a McDonald ’s on the moonby 2017 . And , to be honest , that would n’t have sounded like an outlandish hope in the sixties . Contact McDonald ’s and tell them you want it . Their April Fools ’ lie must become a realness .
Coles Supermarket Hovering Shopping Cart
In Australia they call shopping carts streetcar . But whatever you call them , I want these ones that hover . But it ’s a lie . Tell Coles you want one . It ’s only fair .
Krispy Kreme 3Doughnut Printer
Man , this looks neat . If Krispy Kreme is telling consumers that they ’re going to make 3D pressman then they should make some blooming 3D printers . Either they give it to you , or we halt April Fools ’ through sheer force .
McDonald’s MMMBox
McDonald ’s is offering something prognosticate themmmBox , which apparently is n’t a mention to cunnilingus . Either way , demand that they start to proffer it at your local Mickey D ’s .
Belkin’s Wrist-Candi Band for iPhone
Belkin announced a unexampled band for the iPhone today . It ’s all lies , but frankly it does n’t look any longer ridiculous than half the shucks on Kickstarter . Tell Belkin you want one and do n’t give up until they give it to you .
Bank of Melbourne’s Drone ATM
A real , live ATM drone ? How neat ! It’sa lie , but that does n’t intend you should n’t postulate to get one hovering around your neighbourhood .
Burger King Single-Wrap Fries
Burger King in France is promising consumer single - wrapped tike . And we say , why not ?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pk_DTGCWlXI
Deliveroo’s TeleOrdering
Australian on - demand livery start - up Deliveroo has a product that admit you to regularise products using only your mind . honestly , this thing is run to exist in the near futurity . So why not demand it now ? Deliveroo anticipate it . And again , the cyberspace would n’t lie to you .
iFixit’s Smother Bag
Hoverboards get fervour are no jocularity . So tell iFixit that you require this matter . sure as shooting , it already exists and thus is n’t really a very respectable April Fools ’ “ joke ” but say iFixit you desire theirs . You ca n’t subsist without it . You ’ll literally die without it .
Fakes
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