Photo: Getty
When was the last time you made a mistake at work? Maybe you accidentally hit “reply all” on an email you only meant to send to one person, or you made a spelling error on a document that went out to a client and you can’t get it back, or you missed a deadline because you had it wrong in your calendar.
It happens to everyone, but here’s the next question: how do you handle it? Are your mistakes haunting you in the middle of the night for weeks afterwards? Are you imagining every time your boss calls, you’re getting fired? In other words: are you dealing with work-anxiety?
To answer that, you should know what anxietyis.
“I think of anxiety as an emotion that involves feeling apprehension and worry, and when it gets severe, it can even involve physical changes, like increased blood pressure,” explains Dennis Stolle, JD, PhD, the senior director of applied psychology at the American Psychological Association.
It’s important to note thatanxietyis distinct fromfear:“Anxiety originates more from an internal place, and fear is coming from an external place, and tends to be short lived and more rational,” says Stolle.
It’s also important to distinguish thefeelingof anxiety from clinical anxiety.
“There’s a difference between everyday anxiousness and something that is clinically diagnosable and that difference is in the persistence, the severity, and the pervasiveness of the feeling,” says Melody Wilding, LMSW, an executive coach and author ofTrust Yourself: Stop Overthinking and Channel Your Emotions for Success at Work. “If it’s been going on for two months or more, it’s persistent among different domains of your life, and it’s interrupting your ability to do the daily activities you need to do or you have more serious symptoms like panic attacks, it’s time to seek more help.”
Getty
Anxiety is more common than we probably realize, and the stigma around it is diminishing thanks to high-profile people who have spoken out about their experience with it.MLB playersAustin MeadowsandDaniel Bardthat have recently gone on their teams' injured lists with anxiety, and celebs includingRyan ReynoldsandCarson Dalyhave discussed their anxiety both in and out of the workplace in the past. So if you’re someone who experiences feelings of anxiousness and they’re plaguing your work life, what should you do?
First, when the feeling starts creeping in, try to avoid catastrophizing, says Wilding. It’s easy to go into thoughts like “this is the end of the world, I’m going to lose my job,” but try instead to respond to yourself with compassion. “Say to yourself: everyone makes mistakes. Today was my turn. I can figure this out. I’ve done difficult things in the past,” she suggests.In fact, with her clients who are susceptible to work-related anxiety, Wilding suggests they list out three mistakes or difficult situations they’ve overcome (and how) to help build that resilience in the moment. This is also a good point to ask yourself questions about where your anxiety is coming from, says Stolle. Not from a place of judgment, but rather curiosity: what’s the root of the feeling? Is it based in reality, or is it mostly internal? Walking through this can help you gain some perspective on your emotions.
Next, if you’re feeling anxiety over a mistake, don’t isolate yourself— that means no avoiding the boss or colleague you’re worrying about. “Take ownership, make sure your boss is informed, take responsibility, and communicate,” says Wilding. If your company has the kind of culture where you can be open about how you’re feeling, that’s certainly an option, but it’s most important to make sure everyone’s in the loop about the work itself. “It’s very tempting to want to isolate yourself, but things will only get worse if you do that,” she adds.
You can also take some big-picture steps to prevent future anxiousness. Stolle loves the practice of mindfulness meditation. “Those exercises really do a nice job of teaching you techniques for recognizing the moment and being mindful of ‘what am I thinking right now, and where is that coming from?'” he says. (You can learn mindfulness meditation from a number of apps, says Stolle.)
You can also work on some self-dialogue, says Wilding: “Something that helps me is saying ‘I’m experiencing anxiety,’ or ‘I’m worried about this situation,’ rather than saying ‘I’m anxious,'” she explains. “For me, it’s the difference between seeing anxiety as an identity in a label and seeing it as a temporary experience.”
Your company may also have resources to help you work through this anxiety; many offere what’s known as an Employee Assistance Program (EAP) which can include mental health counseling. Working with someone on an individual level can help develop your coping strategies, and there’s even a movement to build more awareness into the workplace itself, Stolle says: “Some employers are even moving in the direction of having mental health awareness training for managers.”
“Whenever there is anxiety happening and it’s workplace related, there’s the person who’s experiencing the anxiety and also the organization in which they’re operating,” says Stolle. “Maybe the organization is the problem.”
One exercise Wilding does with her clients to help them figure out if they’re not in a healthy work environment for them is write down all the aspects of their job that make them feel resentment.
“Resentment is a very strong emotional signal that you have overextended yourself,” she explains. " So taking stock and figuring out where you need to step back or set limits can be hugely helpful." And if that list is super long? It may be time to fire up your LinkedIn and start looking for a new gig.
Bottom line? Just because anxiety is a common feeling doesn’t mean you’re stuck feeling it. By being proactive about your mental health, you can (hopefully) prevent those middle-of-the-night cold sweats about emails once and for all.
source: people.com
